top 5 nightmare buildings

18-06-2024 ♪ category: hidden

I’m not someone who has a lot of nightmares or even really dreams in general, but when I do dream it’s somehow ALMOST ALWAYS about getting lost in a large building like a school or a mall with a nonsensical, changing layout. I think they’re kind of weird and funny so I thought I’d share!

1. (This one is from when I was like 10 years old so I don’t remember it that well but whatever.) A school that was lit dimly with oranges and reds. There were a lot of staircases going downwards, but I didn’t walk down any of them. It was scary because the walls would move and doors would disappear when I got too close but this one was strangely beautiful because as the walls moved they looked like an impressionist painting, with just vague blobs of vibrant colours. I tried to make it out of the building but never did.

2. A very fancy, big, modern high school (pretty much the opposite of my own). The centre foyer area was full of shiny, expensive looking grand pianos. Lots of them had blue lights on the music racks and some were self-playing. There was a big bridge above the foyer with glass railings. There was a hallway off of the main area that led to a old, decrepit looking indoor waterpark. It was very crowded in there. The main thing was a big waterslide, but the slide had no water and looked like an endoscopy. I had to climb up the slide to get to class but every time I reached the top I would be back at the bottom.

3. A weird mall-school hybrid. I was in the building with my middle school crush and eighth grade English teacher lol. The centre area had fast food kiosks and picnic tables and stores with big glass windows. The stores were mostly cluttered stationery and toy stores. The hallways off of the main area looked my middle school but very dingy and empty. All the lights were off. Through one the hallways was a corner area with a classroom, but all of the walls of the classroom were windows and the lights were on inside the classroom. Across from the classroom there was a hospital nurse station. Outside of the building it was a sort of sad, sparse looking forest and a small shack with a pterodactyl inside.

4. Another school, but actually fairly normal looking this time. The ceilings were really high and there were vending machines between the lockers. I had to get to science class, but every time I would get there, I would forget something from my locker and the location of my locker would change and I would have to find it again. The library had a half-wall on the outside that looked like the Golgi apparatus and on the inside the bookshelves were arranged like a maze. All of the benches were weird round shapes. The outside of the school looked like some sort of nautical carnival. There was a dock and a merry-go-round. Right outside of the entrance to the school there was a big traffic circle paved with cobblestone and with a big flower bed in the middle. On the edge of the traffic circle there was a toll booth.

5. This one is the weirdest. It was a fairly normal looking half indoor, half outdoor mall on the ground level floor. There was a weird amount of bike racks, and every time I tried to leave I would be back in some other hallway. But in the basement of the mall, it was not really a mall. There were no windows at all and a lot of colourful lights. There were small spaces in the walls that I crawled through to get to there weird tunnels. There were tall enough to stand in small places, but most were about kneeling height. They were fully carpeted, even the walls and ceilings, and had soft orange and pink lighting coming from sculptures that were also carpeted. They were mostly shaped like people, animals, and hearts. In the hallways there were a lot of different doorways, but I don’t know what they led to. They all had elaborate signs around the doors, with neon lights. One was shaped like a mouth and led to a hall of mirrors. Another had a doorway shaped like a green monster and I think it led to an arcade. Once I was in the basement there was no way up or out.

(not) keeping out of direct sunlight

10-05-2024 ♪ category: hidden

I feel like this is maybe oversharing but whatever it's my blog. I did something very exciting today! For the first time in years, I wore shorts to school! I know that doesn't sound like a big deal but it was for me. I stopped wearing shorts originally because I hated my body too much, and continued not wearing shorts because my legs are where my biggest scars are. Both of those things were still bothering me today, and honestly I felt my stomach drop a little bit whenever I walked past a big group of white boys (in my experience, those are the people most likely to say something rude in passing), but it was still nice. I walked around outside during lunch (listening to Shinsei Kamattechan because they make very summery music imo) and it was just so nice to not be burning to death. This week has been only the been second week of the year without snow, but for the first time in a while I'm not dreading nice weather :)

Anxiety

27-01-2024 ♪ category: hidden

I don’t think I’ve really talked about before but I’m sure it comes as a surprise to no one that I’m a pretty anxious person. Well sort of. I don’t really have an issue with just like… general anxiety, like getting anxious about life and random stuff, but I have a really hard time with anxiety of the social variety. I was a pretty shy kid, but at some point talking to people became just so much worse than it had ever been. Now I have to psych myself up for like 15 mins before I go talk to someone lol. There are some days where I don’t want to leave the house because the thought of going outside and interacting with other people is just too much.

That’s why people who act like anxiety is just a quirky personality trait really piss me off. I understand that people use humour to cope with stuff but I think there’s a difference between coping and trivializing. This is partially just my own problem, but a couple of weeks ago I had the worst panic attack of my life during a bio lab and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I thought they would think I was joking! I know that’s stupid but I hear people joking about panic attacks so often that in my irrational state of mind I thought my lab partners would think I was joking if I told them why I was standing completely still and not helping. So I just ended up leaving the room and sitting on the floor of the hallway until I could breathe again. But yeah that sucks! I’m stupid for that and I know it’s partially just my fault but it really sucks that it’s even something to worry about in the first place.

Social anxiety makes navigating the outside world a little hellish to be honest. I find ways to get around it, like finally giving up on eye contact and communicating through email and notes instead of talking, but obviously doing those things make me seem a little weird. It would be nice to be normal.

Scars and stuff that comes before them

28-12-2023 ♪ category: hidden

Warning: I’m talking about cutting and I’m not holding back.

So as you may know if you’ve listened to our music, I cut myself. I have since I was 12 (I won’t say how many years that is but I’m sure you can guess.) Like most things, it started out small. Just scratches. But now most of my body is covered in scars and I honestly don’t plan on stopping any time soon because I like it too much. I know I shouldn’t say that, because it feels like on the internet you’re always supposed to say “I’m working on getting better” but that would be a lie. Whenever I stop for a while it’s never voluntary.

I have a weird relationship with my scars. I love them, but I also hate them and feel like I’m going to be ugly forever and no one could ever love me etc. etc. But regardless of how I feel about them they’re here for the rest of my life. That’s why I’ve started wearing t-shirts and shorts again. I avoided it for a long time, but I’m just so sick of constantly hiding. I started wearing t-shirts to school and just trying not to care. I don’t know what people think of me now, luckily no one has said anything to me yet. Though I did hear one guy say, “she used to be so normal”. But whatever, I’m so over trying to be “normal” and trying to hide the stuff that’s wrong with me. I wish I could be the sort of person that thinks of my scars as a reminder of what I’ve been through, but it’s not what I’ve been through yet, it’s what I’m still in the middle of. Beside my scars are often bandages.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, I just want to be completely honest. I think this is just part of my life now, I don’t think I’m ever going to overcome it.

The Most Underrated (3)DS Game*

11-11-2023 ♪ category: hidden

*I don’t actually know how popular this game is and it is certainly not the MOST underrated game but I don’t see it talked about enough whatever blah blah blah

There is a series of games on the DS and 3DS called Style Savvy (or Fashion Boutique in PAL or Girls’ Mode in Japan) and I LOVE it! It’s a pretty simple dress-up game that would be pretty easy to write off. Based on a first glance the games look a little like shovelware, but trust me, they are good. There’s four games in the series; Style Savvy (2008/2009), Style Savvy: Trendsetters (2012), Style Savvy: Fashion Forward (2015/2016), and Style Savvy: Styling Star (2017) and I would like to talk about them all because they’re cool. All of the games feature your character gaining ownership of a boutique in some way, and the main gameplay is helping customers by picking out items and outfits for them. In all four games, you also have to stock your boutique by purchasing clothes at the buyer’s centre/exhibition hall, and can change your avatar’s hair and makeup, and can enter fashion contests. There are other features specific to each game but I will talk about those later! All the games have something of a story, but none of them are really anything to write home about so I won’t be talking about them much.

BTW, obviously these games are no longer in production and Styling Star never saw a physical release in North America (and the eShop is permanently shut down /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~) so just pirate them honestly. I bought two of them from the eShop for ~$30, so if you don’t wanna pay the same amount for a used copy on Ebay just pirate them. ANYWAYS:

STYLE SAVVY

The original! Ironically, the last one I played. It’s unique from the others because it’s the only for the DS rather than the 3DS, so the graphics are in a much different style (not just because of the resolution) and it’s also vertical! I think it’s neat. Being on the DS also means the clothing is more unique because of the models aren’t reused in the other games, but there are also less clothes overall. Though there’s one thing, in all the other games the music is great, in this one I turn off the music because it’s so annoying. Being the first game in the series, there isn’t much to do and there are some annoying quality of life things. The main gameplay is running your boutique and entering fashion contests. The fashion contests are annoying just like they are in Trendsetters (I will explain further later), but I don’t think this game is worse, because it has a certain charm that Trendsetters lacks. I don’t know, can’t explain.

TRENDSETTERS

This one is the first one I played, but I will be honest, it’s the weakest game in the series. It is by no means a bad game! But I found this one to be the most repetitive. The reason for this is because the main marker of progress in the game is the fashion contests, which would be fine, but the way you’re ranked in the contests makes them pretty boring. In order to win especially the later contests, you have to match the colour and pattern of almost every piece of clothing, making for some pretty ugly and boring outfits. So there’s really no creativity in that part of the game, it’s just finding matching clothes. The boutique part of the game is on par with all the others, and it lacks anything else to do. The one thing it does have over the other games it men’s fashion though! In Trendsetters you’re able to stock men’s clothing in your store. None of the games are really anything special in terms of characters and dialogue, but this one I find particularly bland. Emmylou (your shop assistant) is very annoying.

FASHION FORWARD

I think this is the best one. And I’ll tell you why! Fashion Forward has the most to do in it BY FAR. Aside from the normal boutique managing, you can also work as a hairstylist, a beautician, a model, and a fashion designer. And you can design rooms that people will rent from you! It didn’t just add new jobs, it also added lots of new locations that can be travelled to by train. The map is split into sections which makes the world seem a lot bigger. Also, the fashion shows still exist in this one, however they aren’t ranked. Instead of winning the shows, you goal is to sell tickets for the shows. Fashion forward has the best graphics in my opinion, the UI is less cluttered, and the map is done in a way that looks like little dollhouse miniatures. There’s a reason for that! I know I wasn’t gonna talk about the stories of the games, but this one is unique in that the game isn’t set in “the real world”, but instead you’re sucked into an alternate world by a doll that comes to life. I don’t know how to better explain it, just play the game. Oh! And another thing that makes this one unique, in the other games you unlock new makeup and hair colours by just buying them, but in this one you have to take pictures of different locations in the game and show them to a character called Rainbow, and she’ll unlock new colours. It’s kind of weird and kind of frustrating sometimes, but I think it’s cool.

STYLING STAR

This is the final game in the series… unless Nintendo makes one for the switch…? They probably won’t. Anyways lots of stuff from Fashion Forward is kept in this one. The hairstyling, makeup, and designing stay (however the fashion designing is just for fun in this game, in Fashion Forward you take commission from brands) There are also a couple of new features! Nails are added and men’s fashion comes back from trendsetters. But you can’t stock men’s clothing in your store, you just help out at another store across the street. The biggest change is that the fashion shows are done away with entirely, which I am totally on board with. Styling Star also has the most story in the game. In addition to just selling clothes, you also help several characters in their careers to become singers and models. There are three main characters each with their own storyline. I think the characters have the most personality in this game as well. The story is nice because it makes the game a little less repetitive and adds events to the game. Oh, it also adds the ability to fully decorate your boutique instead of just choosing premade interiors. But it’s really not that great, it’s just kind of annoying and expensive. There is one last quality of life update which I think is important. In previous games, if the outfit on you mannequin didn’t match the theme of your shop, customers would complain about it and never buy it, but in Styling Star customers will buy any style of outfit from the mannequin regardless of your shop theme. I know I said Fashion Forward is the best, but this one is a VERY CLOSE second, it’s really good.

So that is my completely pointless review of all four Style Savvy games (*^▽^*)

Piracy >:)

07-10-2023 ♪ category: hidden

Everyone does it, don’t feel bad. Is it moral though? I’m not sure, but it won’t stop me. Honestly I think there’s nothing morally wrong with piracy when there isn’t any way that the copyright owner could even make profits off of whatever you’re pirating. Ex. pirating an old Nintendo game that isn’t available for purchase anywhere anymore. That’s not an unpopular opinion though.

ANYWAYS! Tldr; piracy is probably okay. All you really need is a decent antivirus (windows defender is probably fine… I run EVERYTHING though virustotal.com first just to be safe) an ad/redirect blocker (I use uBlock Origin, it’s great), and common sense, and it’s also probably safe. I won’t put any piracy links here (even though I’d really like to) because I don’t want to violate Neocities’ TOS, and I’m no piracy guru or anything, I don’t know anything that isn’t common knowledge. I have nothing else of value to say… So are the best things I’ve pirated!

• What We Do In The Shadows (2014). A very good movie that I wouldn’t have watched if not for 123movies. It’s a mockumentary type of film. I’d recommend it if you like vampires, but not the serious kind. Werewolves not swearwolves.
• Fantasy Life (3DS). It’s an RPG with really cute graphics and pretty simple gameplay, which are both good things in my books. I played this game on Citra (emulator) at first cuz I was too scared of hacking my actual 3DS and breaking it somehow, but now I’ve done it and it’s much better to play on hardware it was meant for, shockingly! It’s really good! I think I have >50 hours on it at this point. Oh and I found the DLC for it too which is awesome.
• The Beatles’ entire discography. Burnt it onto a CD (or at least my dad did lol, I was like 10) and it accompanied me on several road trips. Also sparked my entire interest in music I guess. I ♥ youtube to mp3 converters (when they don’t come with malware)

There’s also another entire series of games called Style Savvy for the DS+3DS but I’m gonna write a dedicated post just for that so get ready lol.

Rhythm games!

30-09-2023 ♪ category: hidden

They’re really cool! I don’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned this but rhythm games are the whole reason I got into music! The Beatles Rock Band (sort of like guitar hero) specifically, it led to a 2 year long obsession with the beatles and that’s why I wanted to learn how to play guitar! I heard that some people think rhythm games are a bad way to introduce people to music but I whole-heartedly disagree. I don’t really get what could possibly be bad about it! To this day I still really love rhythm games. I’ve played:

• Rock Band
• Rock Band 2
• Rock Band 3
• Rock Band 4
• The Beatles Rock Band
• Green Day Rock Band
• Guitar Hero LOR
• Guitar Hero WOR

(except for RB4 these are all ps3 games so they’re very cheap!)

(PS I wouldn’t recommend RB3 or 4 because the first 2 are a lot better IMO)

There are some good mobile ones too that I’ve found

• Voez (no ads! Can be extremely difficult!)
• Cytus (I didn’t actually play this one for long but it has a more unique gameplay and some very good songs!)
• Sweet Sins Superstars (very cute artstyle, pretty easy in comparison to the last two. Has a lot of ads but I just go into airplane mode)
• Muse Dash is also pretty good but I can’t play it because I find the UI very overwhelming

So yeah needless to say I love rhythm games! Honestly I’ve discovered some of my favourite artists, and if not artists then some really good songs, from rhythm games. I love RX Bandits now and I found them from Guitar Hero. Conventional Lover by Speck and New Kid In School by The Donnas are 2 really good songs from Rock Band 2. And Keep It Up by Uma from Voez is a very good song in a way I can’t describe.

Oh one more funny thing there’s this band called Bang Camaro, they have songs in RB 1,2 and 4. And I don’t even like them that much but I just think about them a lot because currently there are 20-something people in the band!! For reference they make like arena rock type of stuff it’s not like they’re an orchestra. And the reason for this? Gang vocals. Why do they all need to be part of the band though?? It’s just really funny to me XD. They take up space in my brain. (plus their songs are fun to play on RB)

I don’t know what my point is I just wanted to talk about stuff that I like.